ToyNetwork.com          

NY Toy Fair 2018 Saturday through Tuesday February 17-20, 2018   **REGISTER NOW**

Main Content

Resurrection & Racing

By John Schulte                                                                                                                                        February 4, 2018

Lent grips us every year, whether we like it or not. With its urgency for sacrifice in the form of meatless Fridays and an abstinence of your choosing, we learn annually what sacrifice means. It is a powerful word that perhaps defines the very essence and meaning of the glory of Easter. Even if you are not Christian, you can follow the pure simplicity of God sending His only Son to die for our sins — to redeem us through His own death and Resurrection.

But how did we get from the Resurrection of the Lord to chocolate NASCARS?

I get out often and frequent the seasonal aisles at drugstores for jollies. It has been said that a man can learn a life's worth of knowledge by monitoring the seasonal aisles of drugstores. They are the closest thing to Heaven on Earth, because the merchandise is focused and intense. If it's a theme you want, then this is your best destination. The Easter theme has recently been pushed to its most extreme. Historically during Easter, for decades, we have all seen the Easter aisle grow from simple candy eggs to the now legendary marshmallow Peeps — and beyond. Paas anyone? Wax crayons? Wind-up bunny toys. Yeah, it's all been done and it's all there. It what makes Easter happy, for some.

But when we all went off to live our lives beyond Lent, whilst we were all throwing Frisbees and preparing pumpkin pie and wrapping Christmas gifts, a marketing maven slyly slipped in one of the most incongruous Easter items of all time — the chocolate NASCAR. And it's not just one, but teams of chocolate NASCARS, in assorted scales and fillings. Really, what delight does a child of Easter have in rooting through his basket to discover Jeff Gordon's car is filled with nuggat? For a high-octane Easter racing experience, perhaps a cherry cordial center should be added, in lieu of the transmission. Now, we've seen little cute carrot cars driven by bunnies — they kind of make sense. But, a chocolate stock car wrapped in foil? What can that possibly mean? "It's the end of the world."

It's a simple question for a very simple season: how did we get from the Crucifixion and Resurrection of Jesus to chocolaty delight under the hood? Wasn't the Easter Bunny a stretch enough — albeit a logical leap? Surely with the advent of NASCAR chocolate cars at Easter, we are witnessing the checkered flag End Times.

"Now entering the track from the pits, replacing driver Tony Stewart, in Car 666, Peter ‘Satan’ Cottontail!"

Next year, I’m thinking a crucifix car launcher could be a big item with kids — you know, so your chocolate NASCAR can make a lap before being consumed. For the real collector, the Jesus Eastertime Pit Crew Set is a must have. Your marshmallow tires can be changed by the Lord Himself. And the dark chocolate windshield? That gets cleaned by the Holy Ghost, of course, who Himself is made of a fluffy marzipan. But can you really trust Judas to change those velvety tires? The Peeps crow three times.

All of this new product must come with the obligatory warning on the package: Be careful you don't eat too much, because in three days, it will rise again. Amen.

Contact John Schulte @  Facebook   Twitter   Email

When I Got Kid Approval

I was a finalist on ABC’s “The Toy Box” Season 2, where I got to showcase Poshies, which I developed from start to finish, debut some Jessica Rabbit hair on national television... More

Turtles From An Alien World?

Still recall getting direction from Playmates Toys about writing the origin story for the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It was 1987 and my notes from the development meeting were...More

Resurrection & Racing

Lent grips us every year, whether we like it or not. With its urgency for sacrifice in the form of meatless Fridays and an abstinence of your choosing, we learn annually what sacrifice means. It is a powerful word ...More

Lead in Toys

When I was growing up, there was lead in the paint on the walls which surrounded me in my house and in school. Some kids licked the walls and survived to tell the tale... More